Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Staring at the teddy bear…




Staring at the teddy bear, I would have never imagined that I would have been here, in this wet dark suffocating cellar. I don’t know how long it’s been since I was on the streets with my girlfriend going to a haunted house when all of a sudden everything was black. That’s when I realized she wasn’t there and started to yell for her calling her name as loud as possible but there was no response only silence and the muffled echo of her name. I started to look at my surroundings a little bit more, that’s when I realized there was a creepy teddy bear sitting on a shelf there was a rusty old sink on the wall I tried to turn it on but the handles were rusted in place. I moved on to a little tool bench that had a few tools laying on it I thought I might be able to use them, then I realized there was a little closet in here so I went into it and found nothing there wasn’t anything in it besides a piece of paper. I then moved towards a door that seems like my way out and as I passed under the archway I got a huge shock to my leg and I couldn’t move finally it subsided and I could back away from the door. I quickly pulled my pant leg up and there is an ankle bracelet on me and attached to it is a tazer. I cannot believe I didn’t notice it earlier but now my leg feels like I’ve been stabbed. “So I’m not going over there anymore” I said out loud which startled me because it was the first sound I had heard since I woke up.

Since I couldn’t get close to the door I set about searching the rest of the cellar for anything I could use.  In one of the corners was and old bed with a paper thin mattress and a wool blanket, in the adjacent corner of the room there was an old crate that looked as if it had been there since the 80s. Then I realized I hadn’t checked my pockets. In one pocket I had my car keys and pocket knife; in the other pocket I had a phone and a lighter. I quickly got the phone and dialed 911 but there was no service and I couldn’t call anybody. I then thought I could light the mattress on fire so somebody would come but decided against it since it might be and abandoned house in the middle of nowhere. So I just sat down on the bed and tried to think, but the pain in my leg seemed to get worse and I couldn’t focus. I paced around for what seemed like days. I then started to hear a very annoying beep and looked around and didn’t see anything electrical. The beep continued and I stared to walk around the room that’s when I passed by the teddy bear and heard it. Instead of button eyes, it had camera eyes. Starring at the teddy bear I just snapped how someone could do this to another person was just insane. Lock them up and just forget about them, so I grabbed the teddy bear and ripped the head of, took the cameras and smashed them. Panting with anger I made my way over to the tool bench and grabbed for the hammer and screw driver. I started to go to town on the ankle bracelet, I could feel it getting looser and looser and it finally broke loose and I ran for the door but it was locked, I took the hammer and broke in the lock and ran through the door.

 As I made my way through the thresh hold there was at least a dozen more doors just like mine. And by each door was a little monitor with live feed from inside the room. And in every single room there was another person just like me freaked out. And in the furthest door from mine was my girlfriend laying down on her bed just laying there I quickly open the door to get her, run to the bed and when I get there I just freeze I couldn’t move just stood there. Her face was gone and I just stood there she wasn’t breathing or moving and I heard something coming from the hall and I ran to see what it was with hammer in hand. And the creepiest looking man I have ever seen was in my room with a machete and I ran down the hall and closed the door behind him found a chair and set it against the door to keep him in there and opened all of the doors. But everybody else was dead or not conscious so I took off for the stairs and as soon as I got to them the man broke through the door and started after me. I ran as fast as possible but my leg, still hurting from the shock I received earlier was slowing me down. I got up stairs and made a hard left for the door and as soon as I got outside I was shocked.

 I thought that I was only in there for a few hours or a day or two. But when I was grabbed it was summer now it was the middle of winter. I turned to get I good look at the place before I ran and that’s when the big guy barreled out of the building. And right as he did I took off, the weird thing was there was no one around and the big guy was gaining on me. We ended up going through a park and I thought I might lose him on the ice so I ran to a nearby pond and the ice would barely hold me. I was about half way across the pond when I heard a crack I turned and the guy had broke through the ice and was having trouble swimming then he just disappeared.

4 comments:

  1. I like the beginning, and the mystery in trying to solve this puzzle, but as it goes on it becomes muddy. More clarity needs to be provided so that the reader can stay engaged in the story and eventually figure out what is going on. It just trails off and gets lost, so try to add more details to the plot. You have plenty of details about the setting, but it needs more depth as to what's actually going on. Good start! Happy Halloween :)

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  2. I really liked the details and the feelings the main character has throughout the story. The teddy bear with cameras for eyes is really freaky and having all the monitors in front of the doors showing the people behind them was creepy.

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  3. Your story is terrifying! I really liked how much detail you put into the way your character was scared, alone, and trying to escape. I was sad when I learned that not only your girlfriend but every other person in the house had died at the hands of the scary looking man. How awful! I would have liked to learn more about the scary man, but since it is a scary story I think not knowing more about who he is also works because it makes you even more scared. If that makes sense! Anywho, good job!!

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  4. I could see this as the plot for a scary movie! What a twisted and awful scenario--keeps the audience curious what will happen and wondering why this is happening to these poor people.

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